


Words Catch

by Mc-Fane-Ly (CastielAnAngelOfTheLordMC)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: 00.02, 00.04, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e06 The Day That Wasn't, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Torture, Light Angst, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Other, Stuttering, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves, The Kraken - Freeform, The Seance, netflix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17837690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielAnAngelOfTheLordMC/pseuds/Mc-Fane-Ly
Summary: Pain is something that builds up over time, and without an outlet, it doesn't take much for the pain to spill forth when everything suddenly becomes too much. Diego isn't one for expressing emotions beyond annoyance and frustration, though dealing with deaths in the family, an impending apocalypse, and losing a close friend… Then one argument with Luther over the fate of the world and everything falls apart.The dam breaks.And he can't handle it on his own.





	Words Catch

There were some points in his life when the back room of a boxing club wouldn’t cut it when it came to somewhere familiar to stay. Granted, Diego’s bed had briefly been taken up by a certain Number Five after a drunken binge; and those sheets had to be cleaned before he was even going to lay down in that bed.

And apocalypse didn’t exactly wait for laundry day.

That was only the crux of the issue, the impending apocalypse. As well as being told that in the future that was currently set to happen, he and his brothers and sister were going to die a horrible death - along with the whole world.

There was a hell of a lot on his plate. On everyone’s plate.

It was just one problem after another problem and annoyance that was building up, higher and higher; and sometimes he just felt like collapsing under everything that was on top of him.

Honestly, Diego didn’t understand how he hadn’t collapsed and had a breakdown days ago. All he knew was that sooner or later, something would come up. The ‘something’ he assumed would be small, insignificant. Maybe one of his knives would go missing and he wouldn’t be able to find it. Maybe one of his brothers would grate on his nerves just that little bit so that everything building up would overflow in one giant cascade of pain and fear, worry and sadness, that he wouldn’t be able to get it to stop no matter how much he tried.

He’d lost his dad.

His mom.

Got shot in the arm.

And Eudora…

Yet, he had a method of handling everything, it was a simple plan which was set out in a bunch of steps that addressed the one problem he was currently hyper-focused on. Step one, kill Hazel and Cha-Cha.

That was the full plan. The apocalypse could wait for that. It would.

“I’m going after Hazel and Cha-Cha.” Diego made his way around from the other side of the table he was stood at, thoroughly interrupting Luther’s talk about the importance of the moon in regards to the apocalypse situation. Apparently good things do happen.

“Wait, right now?” Luther questioned, brow furrowing deeply.

Diego scoffed and nodded, turning around to face his brother. He needed to get going, but he could humor his brother for at least a minute. “Hell yeah. Three days, and I’m losing light by the minute.”

“Wait, Diego, I know you wanna avenge your friend, but we got a bigger problem here-”

He felt his body tense up at that wording. It made their relationship - or at least what they used to have, seem insignificant, small. Sure, they had a load of rough patches, they weren’t together, but if she was alive… If there had been more time, then maybe… “- She wasn't just some friend. If I’m gonna die, I need to know I killed those bastards first.” Diego let out a small breath and forced his shoulders to loosen. “It’s not about dad, it's not about me. The longer I wait, the longer Hazel and Cha-Cha are still alive.”

He turned and took his leave with a final, “Stop making this about you.”

Diego knew he was riled after that talk, his muscles tense enough to make the bullet wound in his arm ache, his heart rate had ratcheted up and showed no sign of slowing down. His hands were getting clammy and the burn of building emotion had started at the back of his eyes. Which was why instead of heading straight out and trying to avenge his… friend; Diego found himself sat down on his bed, in his bedroom, staring numbly down at his damn untied shoelace and wondering what the hell he was supposed to be doing with it.

His room, the place that he’d left when he was seventeen. It was definitely a place which represented one wholly messed up childhood, but sometimes he needed the familiarity of his home. The room at the boxing club just wasn’t the same thing.

The familiarity didn't do much to stem the building pain in his chest.

Nor did it help ease the pressure building as Diego felt everything topple down in one fell swoop. So, the small thing which broke his internal dam was an argument with his idiot of a brother.

Diego let out a shaky breath, followed by another, and another, until he was finding it hard to get it to slow down. The bed covers he was sat on started to feel unusual as the sensation of absence, of fuzziness flow down his limbs and to his fingers and toes, as his mind drowned under the flow of… _everything._

His dad had died, he’d seen his family all together for the first time in years and then Mom stopped working properly, and he had to… He had to- then the apocalypse was apparently happening and the world was going to end and everyone in it was going to die, which subsequently included himself. Diego had taken a bullet to his shoulder and failed to kill two time-traveling assassins using an Ice Cream truck-

And Patch had died… Eudora had died.

There hadn’t been time to dwell on it after it had happened.

Seeing her laid on the floor in the motel room, part of him had hoped she was just unconscious. Then he’d clocked the blood… And the wound. Time had slowed down, stolen his breath and made tears flow like torrents from his eyes as Diego just willed her to live, to not die, to be alive because _no, no, no, Eudora, no, no, no, no, no-_

Sitting in his room, surrounded by everything he’d left there the last time he’d been in the house, the same wallpaper and the draws and all the random crap on them, nowhere he sat, nowhere he looked at would stop the tears from falling.

They fell, leaving hot trails down his face - his breath caught in his throat and left him taking in half-breaths, gasping, heaving, drowning.

“Diego?”

Diego looked up at his door, then quickly swiped a hand over his eyes to remove the traces of tears there as he saw Klaus stood just in the doorway. He didn’t look too good himself, a clear sheen of sweat over his skin and his body basically trembling, but there was confusion on his face.

Which was split briefly by humor, a smile over what he was seeing, though it fell away just as fast when the amusement of the situation died. When Klaus realized he was seeing his brother cry, and panic and fall apart, and it wasn’t anything to make jokes about because Diego was suffering.

Something he’d hidden well enough until then.

“Hey, buddy, what’s with the waterworks?” Klaus asked with a weak laugh to his voice as an attempt to lighten the mood, though the attempt fell short. “You seemed fine when you were having your spat with dear old Luth.”

Diego watched as Klaus made his slow way over as if figuring out how to handle what was happening. Eventually, he settled on sitting down on the bed beside him, and the creak of the bed-frame broke the overwhelming silence of the room.

“Just go away, Klaus,” he whispered, putting his head into his hands as he forced his breathing to at least slow down, to no effect. His breaths still catching, still all too short.

“I can’t do that,” his brother said, then a hand landed on his shoulder as a light, but grounding weight. “And secretly, you don’t want that.”

“Dammit, I told you to go _away_ , so go, _now._ ” Diego ground out through gritted teeth, pushing the hand off of his shoulder. He didn’t need this help, and whatever Klaus was doing, it was probably for his own benefit. Blackmail, a story to tell whoever about _Number Two, now that guy’s a wimp-_

“Go away-”

That wouldn’t exactly be far off what he was. But it would be one bullet point on the list of the many things he was, a wimp, a disappointment, angry, bitter, frustrated, loud, selfish, a loner, an annoyance, someone who isn’t responsible, who never grew up right, who lets people down.

Who shut down his mother…

Who inadvertently got someone killed, someone he felt closer to than his family sometimes, even if what they had wasn’t even a friendship anymore…

“P- Please…”

Diego’s emotions and body betrayed him as he couldn’t hold in a sob that pushed up his throat and out into existence. He saw the way Klaus’ eyes widened first in shock, then in worry. He felt like he was falling into the bed, down through the floor, there wasn’t enough air in the room, or in the house.

He couldn’t _breathe._

“Hey, hey, woah,” Klaus moved from where he was sat, an inch closer and tugged at Diego’s shoulder until he was held in a hug. The sideways angle made it awkward and slightly painful, but Diego’s head was against his brother's chest and Klaus wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

“You need to breathe, man, okay? Take it slow, deep breath in,” Klaus drew in a heavy breath of air, and held it for a second before releasing it, with a, “And out.”

Then he just repeated. Again and again.

Yet, Diego didn’t feel it working, his lungs wouldn't let him take in enough air. He was a drowning man in a room full of oxygen. His body and mind working out of sync. Fear increased the onset of hyperventilation, and he forced himself to listen to Klaus, to stay grounded, otherwise, he was going to pass out.

And so the mantra of _in, and out,_ was his focus.

One shallow breath, followed by another...

Then finally, one slightly deeper breath became another breath; deeper still.

Until he could take in air. Though his eyes were still blurry with tears and his hands had somehow wound up clutching at Klaus’ shirt, the material bunched up tightly between his fingers as if it was a lifeline to the living, through a guy who could see the dead.

“...What was that about?” Klaus questioned tentatively after a few minutes had passed, his arms still around his brother. “It is about the end of the world?”

Diego mustered up the energy to shake his head, embarrassingly, but comfortingly keeping his head resting against Klaus’ chest.

“So… Then dad? Mom?” He paused, then understanding flickered over his face, “That cop lady?”

He faltered, though that action was answer enough. “H- her name was Eu- E- E-” Diego stopped and grit his teeth, his fists tightening on the clothing as he felt his words, his voice failing. “Her name w- was,”

Klaus let out a quiet breath and gradually detangled his arms, taking a far too gentle hold of Diego’s wrists to get his hands to detach, which they eventually did. “Take a moment, man. Think of the word you want to say.”

Diego looked up at his brother when he said that, his mouth still open, still working around a syllable which wasn't coming out, which was caught on and there was no word he could substitute for a name. Nothing else he could say.

“That’s what Mom said, right? Picture the word in your mind, all that jazz?” Klaus smiled briefly, ever so slightly sorrowful when he caught his Diego’s eyes.

He wiped a hand down his face, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He felt like a kid again, staring into the mirror and trying to stop his damn stutter, something that was there in nearly every sentence, slowing every word, stunting every conversation. There were days when Diego wondered why he tried, why he even spoke at all if his words betrayed him so often.

He was wondering that now.

“Eu- Eud-“ Diego let out a growl and stood in one motion, swinging his uninjured arm in an arch until his fist went through the plaster of his bedroom wall, paint and pieces falling onto the floor. More broke off when he pulled his hand out and winced at the stinging in his knuckles, though there was no blood.

Klaus had stood too, a hand wiping down his face before he shook his arms out as if trying to dispel the shaking which was there. The fidgeting, the arm-scratching.

“Diego, what happened, it wasn’t your fault.” he reasoned slowly, and he knew, he’d been there. He’d heard the shot, he’d gotten away but she hadn’t and now his brother was blaming himself over something he wasn’t there for. He didn’t fire the gun, it wasn't because of him.

It wasn’t.

“I- I- I sh- should have been t- there,” Diego said after a second, his voice barely over a whisper, still wet and shaking. “I should h- have- have-“

“And what? Caught the bullet?”

Diego still had it in him to fix his brother with the dead-eye, no matter what he was feeling. The fact that it made Klaus shift his gaze was good enough.

“My point, brother-dear, is that you weren’t there.” Klaus placed his hands onto both of Diego’s shoulders, forcing eye contact that even he didn’t want, but he wasn't about to let his brother continue to punish himself. “You weren’t there.”

“I was o- on my way...”

“But you weren’t there.”

“Sh- she wanted me there,” Diego mumbled.

“You weren’t there.” he tightened his hold on his shoulders, “You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

Klaus was at a point where he just wanted to be able to will the stubborn brother of his to understand. The past had happened, it was painful and sad, bloody, traumatizing, but it couldn’t be changed.

“I- I let her d- do- down.”

Diego felt the sting of tears again, though he wasn’t going to let them fall. He wasn’t going to cry again.

“Sometimes, it’s what happens. It’s shitty and painful, but it happens.” Klaus let his hands drop to his sides, away from Diego’s shoulders; then stepped forwards and pulled him into a hug. “And I’m sorry.”

They stood there for a minute, neither brother moving, only standing where they were with their arms wrapped around the other.

Diego was the first to loosen his hold, but he didn’t step away from the embrace. “It hurts.” he swallowed hard. “I- I hurt.”

“It will, but making Hazel and Cha-Cha go bye-bye won't help with that. You’ll feel like shit before, during, and after. Though after, you’ll have two more bodies on your list. And you’ll regret it.” Klaus stepped back, just to look at his brother fully. “Your police lady-buddy… Your more-than-friend, she wouldn’t want you killing for revenge.”

Diego gave a non-committal shrug, forcing out a heavy breath and busied himself with using his sleeve to wipe away the last remnants of tears from his face. He probably still looked like he’d been crying, though that would fade. “They killed her. Shot her in the back…” he swallowed hard, “I don’t know w- what to do.” he admitted slowly.

Klaus paused and tapped his chin with one finger, tilting his head in thought, “Today, maybe stop the apocalypse?” He raised an eyebrow, but seemingly settled on that not being a good idea, “Or, you know, not. Five isn’t back yet. No lead, no dice- the world won't not be ending today.”

“Then... What are you going to do?” Diego questioned, his brow furrowing.

“Well, first,” he gestured over to his shoes, “I’m going to tie your shoelace like the good and beautiful brother I am.”

“... Thank you-?”

“- If you tie me up after.” Klaus shifted the rope Diego had just noticed off his shoulder and tossed it over.

Diego more or less caught it, “Come again?”

“You know, the last time I was sober was that roaring good time when those freaks had me tied up in the motel room.” Klaus made the statement seem like an exciting day out, which it definitely was not.

“Wow. You are one twisted bonehead.”

He looked affronted at that accusation, though nodded in agreement and crouched down to tie his brother's shoes. “Yeah… Kinda.” he stood up, smiling, “With sage advice."

“Don’t let it go to your head.” Diego started heading to the door of his room once the lace was tied, Klaus a couple paces behind. “But thank you.”

“Be still my beating heart.” Klaus placed a hand onto his shoulder, causing the two of them to pause. “And I wasn’t just going to leave you hanging.”

“Yeah, well… You really helped.” he let those words hang in the air for a moment, before taking a hold of his brother's wrist and started tugging him towards the stairs. “Anyway, come on, let's get you sober.”

“Appreciated.” Klaus grinned, letting himself be dragged. “And Diego, what was her name?” he asked carefully.

Diago didn’t stop in his step, though he cleared his throat and took a second before he answered, though his voice was sad.

“Eu- Eudora. Eudora Patch.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've written for The Umbrella Academy! It's been in my head since I finished watching the Netflix show and I had to write it out. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feel free to leave a kudos or comment on what you thought, I'd love to read them! 
> 
> Also feel free to message me on tumblr at castielwinchestercas if you want to talk about the show, or even to just talk, I love talking with you guys, just send a message! 
> 
> If you have any more ideas of what you'd like to read then message me and I'll try and write it.
> 
> Also, feel free to like and reblog the link on tumblr, it would be awesome!  
> https://castielwinchestercas.tumblr.com/post/182890731268/words-catch-mc-fane-ly
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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